unpacking food guilt with teens
When a young person is struggling with their relationship with food and their body, they’re unlikely to come right out and tell you. It’s more likely that you will observe a series of behaviours that may indicate to you that they might be feeling uncomfortable, inadequate, or guilty about their food choices or the way their body physically presents.
I’ve worked with hundreds of teens this term and so many of them have shared that they often feel guilt for the food choices they make and draw a correlation between that and their worth. They ask me, “is it good if I have x for breakfast?” or they say, “I’ve been so bad lately, I can’t stop eating x”.
When we look at the landscape of health information in Australia, it really is no wonder that many of them have formed the belief that their food choices are correlated with being ‘good’ or ‘bad’. For the past 20-years the news cycle has churned out report after report saying that we have an ‘obesity epidemic’. These reports are fear led and often attribute this to food advertising of high sugar and high fat foods… the types of foods that our teens love.
While as a nutritionist I see the value of having a diverse diet rich in fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, pulses, and wholegrains I don’t believe this should be at the exclusion of all other foods. Rather, we see in the research that reporting is fear led and focussed on ‘anti-obesity’ can trigger disordered eating and eating disorders in young people that feel that they need to have a ‘perfect’ diet for their health.
So, how do we strike a balance between wanting our teens to accept and appreciate their body as it is and also choose behaviours that are supportive of their long-term health? First it helps to expand what health is beyond our food and movement choices. Health also encompasses good quality sleep, strong relationships, honouring hunger and fullness, asking for help and ability to manage feelings of stress and overwhelm.
From there we need to place an emphasis on what our bodies can DO. This might look like a conversation each evening where every member of the family shares three things their body did for them that day – walk, sleep, learn, run, grow, play, digest my food, listen, see, jump.
We then need to step in with some media literacy. Understand why food guilt is present – “I notice that you have expressed guilt for eating pasta lately, why do you believe this is something to feel guilty about?” OR “you used to love having a muffin for recess, what has changed? Is there another snack you would prefer?”. In both of these interactions you’re entering with curiosity and seeking to understand so you can take the next step.
By expanding their definition of health, focussing on body function, and seeking to understand we can start having some really meaningful conversations around body image and food in the school in a way that is safe and geared towards fostering a joyful relationship with food.
If you and your teen are ready to start embracing food freedom, you can download our free guide here.
