Recently I have been consuming a lot of Dr Brené Brown’s work. Brené is a researcher, storyteller, and speaker who has spent two decades of her life researching courage, shame, vulnerability and empathy. I resonate with so much of what she she shares, but this finding from her research has really stuck with me -

She said, “one of the biggest surprises in my research was learning that fitting in and belonging are not the same thing, and, in fact, fitting in gets in the way of belonging. Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.” 

I chameleoned my way through life for a long time. I was and am very good at it, but I don’t want to do it anymore. It’s exhausting. One way I used to be a chameleon was by conforming to the latest trends in fashion. I wanted to have the clothes that were on trend, wear my hair a certain way, and sadly I wanted to have my body look a certain way.  

I will be honest, my desire to conform wasn’t during my adolescent years. I held it strongly through my early twenties too. 

When I was in my later years of high school the trend was anything that hugged your body. Whenever I wore something that hugged my figure, I would spend the whole occasion pulling my top down and worried about what I ate so I wouldn’t bloat. Now days, I dress for me. You will very rarely see me wearing something that hugs my figure. This isn’t because I am not proud of my body, it is because personally I just don’t feel comfortable and that’s okay. 

When I started to make clothing choices based on 'feeling', rather than 'aesthetic', I noticed a massive change in my confidence. I was able to be myself in the clothes I was wearing and that was special. My beautiful friend Sophia and I have been making an effort to send pictures back and forth of what we’re wearing. I have found this to be a wonderful way of expressing myself and, in many ways, finding myself again. It is also a way to be creative, celebrate my body, and show off just how proud I am of the body I’m in!

Even though I still get a little self-conscious if I am dressed a bit different to the people around me, I can now more rationally take a step back and remember that I chose my outfit for me. It is a beautiful feeling to know that I am being myself and honouring what feels good for my body

What is your go to outfit at the moment? How does it make you feel?